For years in Christian circles and even from many pulpits, I have heard the saying and/or teaching of do not to be a Martha. These teachings and saying, “don’t be a Martha” come from the story of Mary and Martha when Jesus comes to Martha’s house, but no one talks about when Jesus redeemed Martha at the raising of Lazarus from the dead. I never understood why Martha had to be villainized while Mary was glorified, especially in light of the fact that I always identified as a Martha more than a Mary. In the Kingdom of God, no one should be compared to someone else, as we are each created by Him to fulfill a plan and a purpose. God doesn’t compare people and neither should we. After all, Jesus loved them both, died for them both and though they both had flaws, Jesus in His love and grace redeemed them both. As a result of the many years of this type of teaching, I strived to be more like Mary, instead of just being me and embracing the Martha in me, the person that He created me to be.

Jesus demonstrates His love for both Mary and Martha, they demonstrate their love for each other and the Scriptures demonstrate how they never should have been pitted against each other to make one superior to the other. This Kingdom principle will bring freedom to the many women like me who identify as being more like Martha than like Mary. My true prayer is at the end of Parts 1 and 2, you will be shouting, “I am proud to be a Martha!”

There are two passages that we will use for this teaching. I am sure that they are already familiar to you, but we are going to explore them with new revelation, revelation from the Holy Spirit and Kingdom principles. They are Luke 10: 38-40 and John 11: 1-45. We are going to start with the passage in the Book of Luke because this is the story where the teaching or saying “don’t be a Martha” originates, as it has been perverted to elevate Mary and devalue Martha.

The Scripture says in Luke 10, starting at verse 38:

38 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and
a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.

39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word.

40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him
And said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?
Therefore, tell her to help me.”

41 And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and
troubled about many things.

42 But One thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be
Taken away from her.

Let’s break this Scripture down. In verse 38, we are told that when Jesus entered a certain village that Martha welcomed Jesus into her house. The Scripture specifically states that it was her, meaning Martha’s house. The Bible does not tell us how or why Martha owns the house. Was she left the house by her deceased husband? Or is she an independent woman, an entrepreneur or a hard worker and earned enough money to purchase the house? Whatever, the means of acquiring the house, a woman owning a house in those times, would be indicative of the fact that she had financial means. Since she tends to be the one to get up and serve Jesus, it could be argued that she owns the house because she is an independent woman, an entrepreneur or a hard worker and earned the financial ability to own the house.

Also notice that it was Martha, not Mary or Lazarus, that welcomed Jesus. Martha is the one setting the tone of hospitality toward the Lord at the opening of this passage. This tone permeates the entire passage. Hospitality is a Spiritual gift. 1 Peter 4:9–10 Be hospitable to one another without grumbling, as each one has received a gift. The NIV version reads: “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”


“And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. The word “also” there means that Mary did too, in addition to Martha. So, we are told that Martha sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. I’m going to say that again. Martha sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word! Have you ever been taught that Martha sat a Jesus’s feet and heard His word? Mary also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. In John 12: Sitting at the feet of Jesus and hearing His word indicates that they both recognized who He was and His authority. Both Mary and Martha wanted to develop their relationship with Jesus, both spent time with Him and learned from Him, both women loved the Lord, knew the Lord and valued His teaching.

At some point, Martha made a decision to get up from sitting at the feet of Jesus and serve others, as verse 40 states “But Martha was distracted with much serving,” This could also indicate on this occasion, that instead of sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening to Him speaking, she chose to serve Him and others. Serving the Lord is a good thing, as we are called to serve the Lord. It is also recognized as a Spiritual gift. See Romans 12:7 (ministry let us use it in our ministering. The NIV translation is “if serving, then serve.”) Martha is exercising two of her spiritual gifts at the same time: hospitality and serving. So, what is she doing that has brought such criticism upon her? I use the word criticism and not condemnation, because the Bible states in Romans 8:1 there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, but the messages and teachings that I have heard or read sure sound like condemnation of Martha to me.

Martha was using her gifts for the Lord, as well as doing what was required of woman at the time, so what she was doing, serving and hospitality, was not necessarily wrong. So, it was not the fact that she was serving or making the decision to serve instead of sitting at His feet that was the issue, it was the manner in which she was serving that Jesus addressed. Martha has a heart issue in the performance of her gifts. It was a heart issue: She was distracted.

There are two meanings of the word “distracted.” According to Definitions from Oxford Languages, distraction means: 1. A thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else; and 2. Extreme agitation of the mind or emotions. I believe that Jesus was addressing both definitions. First of all, Martha was in the presence of the Lord and while in His presence, we shouldn’t be distracted from giving the Lord our full attention. I am certainly guilty of that one. I can be in worship, in the presence of the Lord and my mind starts to wonder. Secondly, she was in a state of extreme agitation of the mind or emotions, she was frustrated by her sister not serving. Why else would she approach Jesus and ask the following “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?” Followed up immediately by “Therefore, tell her to help me.” Martha was in a state of extreme agitation. She wanted her sister to help her serve and she elicited Jesus’ help in doing so. She certainly wasn’t being hospitable without grumbling as required in 1 Peter 4:9 and she certainly was not joyful while exercising her gifts. Psalm 100: states “Serve the Lord with gladness.” Contrast that with Deuteronomy 28:47 which outlines curses for disobedience: “Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joy and gladness of heart.” Even though we learn that Martha’s heart was not right, how she addressed the issue was astounding and showed her love for her sister and her character.



Martha took her extreme agitation caused by her sister’s perceived failing to assist her and brought it to the Lord. Verse 40 continues, “and she approached Him And said, “Lord”. Martha spoke directly to Jesus about what she believed or perceived was the problem. In today’s context, we would equate what she did as “she prayed” about her sister’s failing. Notice that she did not berate or speak harshly to her sister at any point in time, especially she did not do it in the presence of others, nor did she try to manipulate her to help her serve. Also notice that she did not go to other women to gossip about Mary, to tell them what Mary failed to do in an attempt to get them to align and agree with her so that Martha felt vindicated and others would think badly about Mary. She did neither of these things. She went alone, outside the hearing of others and spoke directly to the Lord about her perception of her sister. “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?” By the way Martha approached her perceived problem of her sister’s failings, she is portrayed as a loving sister. Martha gave us a partial model that we should follow when we are in a state of extreme agitation by the actions or in this case inactions of others. Had Martha stopped here, I do not believe that the Lord would have corrected her.


However, Martha went too far. Martha then tells the Lord in the remainder of verse 40: “Therefore, tell her to help me.” Martha determined the solution to her problem, as the solution in her mind was Mary needed to help her. Not only did she tell the Lord the solution, but she went on to instruct the Lord on how He should fix her problem when she told Him to “tell her.” Martha is not the only one guilty of thinking that he/she has the solution to their problem or even telling God how to fix a problem. If I asked people to raise their hand if they ever told God how to fix their problem, every person on this planet would have their hand raised. Also, how many times do we tell the Lord what He should do to fix our problem, because it is what we want or believe that He should do? Martha believed that her solution and the way it should be accomplished was the correct one, that God should tell her to help her because it was what she wanted to happen to fulfill her needs. The Lord believed the solution was a different one, that Martha should not be distracted or agitated. Jesus wanted Martha to recognize that the problem and the solution was with Martha’s heart.


How did the Lord address her heart issue, by His response in verse 41, “And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.” Unfortunately, in written text, sometimes the tone of the text cannot be ascertained and needs to be discerned. I believe that Jesus did not harshly rebuke Martha, like we have seen Him do in other instances. He rebuked a fig tree, he rebuked Peter and commanded satan to get behind him and he rebuked the Pharisees and Sadducees calling them a brood of vipers, just to name a few. He also did not use an exclamation point at the end of His correction, but a period, leading us to discern that it was a gentle correction and a loving concern by our loving God.

Jesus was lovingly concerned as Martha was worried and troubled. The word worried is defined as ‘anxious” and the word troubled is defined as “beset by problems or conflict” according to the Definitions from Oxford Language. Jesus is concerned as He never wants His daughters to be anxious, worried, fearful, troubled, etc. This theme of not being worried or troubled is central to the Bible and the character of the Father as a loving, caring, trusting Father. Jesus privately (not in front of others) gently corrects Martha by stating as follows in verse 42: “But One thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be Taken away from her.”

Jesus tells Martha that she only needs one thing, to not be worried or troubled. Mary has chosen that good part, as Mary knew that if she sat at His feet, was in His presence, and heard His teachings, that she would be in a place of love, grace and peace. Mary chose to stay in that place, she chose that good part. Martha also knew about being in His presence, but she got distracted or frustrated by her perception of another person’s behavior that she perceived should be changed. So, Martha went to the Lord, in prayer and told him the problem, the solution and how He should accomplish that solution to fulfill her needs and desires. Jesus wanted something better for Martha. Jesus wanted her to serve with joy and gladness of heart. Jesus also wanted Martha to be in a place of love, grace and peace while being hospitable and serving Him. He didn’t want Martha coming to Him in anger and frustration asking Him to change others. He is so loving, He wanted to change her heart and He knew that the only way that He would change her heart was if she stayed in a place of love, grace and peace. And change her heart, He did! Go to Part 2 to learn of Martha’s Redemption.

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