I grew up feeling unloved and unworthy of love due to the treatment by a parent. My mother was used by the enemy (we do not fight flesh and blood so I am not blaming my mother) to come at an early age and cause deep verbal and emotional pain. My earliest memories are of being mistreated and verbal and emotional abuse making me feel like I didn’t deserve anything. This verbal and emotional abuse continued throughout a large portion of my life and definitely affected me and the decisions that I made. I was 39 years old before my mother told me the word that I longed all my life to hear: “I love you.”

If the enemy used people in your life to come and steal, kill and destroy, then this message of hope and healing is for you. Although satan used my mother, he could have used anyone in your life to mistreat you and make you feel and believe that you are unloved and unworthy. It’s easy to internalize the negative messages around us, leading to self-doubt and a sense of not being worthy.


One day the Lord spoke to my heart and said “You are an Ezekiel 16 woman.” Not knowing what that meant, I did what anyone would do, I looked it up. As I began to read, I was thinking, what has this to do with me, this passage is about Israel, this doesn’t make any sense and then when I got to verse 4, tears started flowing from my eyes.

I read starting at verse 4. “As for your nativity, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed in water to cleanse you; you were not rubbed with salt nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. 5 No eye pitied you, to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were thrown out into the open field, when you yourself were loathed on the day you were born.”


These words were like a spotlight shining on the explanation of why I was mistreated during my life. I thought, no wonder I was mistreated as I was unwanted and despised by my mother from the day that I was born. I was emotionally abandoned, even if I was not physically abandoned. It all made so much sense. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and confirmed all of it, as He showed me numerous examples of the mistreatment that I had endured. He didn’t want to leave me in my pain and He wanted to heal my brokenness. Finding solace and healing can be a transformative journey. However, He used the rest of the passage to heal my brokenness and self-worth.

He emphasized to me that even though my mother didn’t want me, He did! He had planned me, created me, loved me and had a destiny for my life! Many of the scriptures that confirmed this came flooding into my mind. He further confirmed this when I started reading verse 6. Verses 6-14. “And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ 7 I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured, and became very beautiful. Your breasts were formed, your hair grew, but you were naked and bare.


8 “When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” says the Lord God.

9 “Then I washed you in water; yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood, and I anointed you with oil. 10 I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin; I clothed you with fine linen and covered you with silk. 11 I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. 12 And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. 13 Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. 14 Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you,” says the Lord God.


Wow, wow, wow! At this time I was completely undone! It described my journey with Him! This is what He did for me and who He made me to be. He rescued me from my plight of struggling in my own blood and being abandoned and discarded. He declared over me to live! He made me thrive, despite the treatment I was enduring. He cleansed me, restoring my dignity, worth, and beauty. He loved me even if no one else did! He clothed me, crowned me and gave me an identity! I was His! I was royal! That’s who I was! That’s who I am!


At that moment I had a choice to make. I could believe who He said I was, or I could believe all the negative and hurtful words that were said to me, yelled at me or spoken over me. I chose to believe Him! I hope that you do too!

At the heart of this passage lies a powerful message of redemption and unconditional love. It reminds us that regardless of our past experiences or our limiting beliefs, we are valued and worthy of love and care. Here are some key insights from Ezekiel 16:4-14 that can guide you on your journey of healing and rediscover your self worth and identity as a royal child of a King.


The passage illustrates God’s unwavering love and commitment to you, His child. Just as the infant in the story is tenderly cared for despite her initial state of abandonment, you too are embraced by God regardless of your past, hurts, mistakes or feelings and beliefs of unworthiness. He has never left you or forsaken you.

The process of cleansing, clothing, and adorning in the passage describes how God sees you, worthy and regal. He sees all of the potential that lies within you. He is waiting for you to make a decision to allow Him access to your broken and protected heart, to allow Him to transform and renew you from the inside out. He wants to bring out the beauty that lies within you, all of your talents and abilities so that you can fulfill the plan and destiny that He has for your life.


It is through God’s actions and love that you will be restored. Remember that your value is not determined by people, external standards, achievements or past failures. Your value is only determined by Him and He proclaimed it from the beginning of time that you are worthy! Get in His word, find passages that confirm your identity as His child, that you are loved, that you are beautiful, that you are worthy and let it wash over you and bring the healing that you need.

Believing God on who He says that you are may take time, but you can find healing and wholeness, allowing you to move forward with strength and resilience.

He required that I forgive my mother and He may require that you forgive the person that mistreated you. I know, I know, that may seem impossible to do, but forgiveness isn’t for them, it is for you. It is so that you can be freed from the past. It doesn’t mean what the person or people did to you was okay, in fact, what they did was wrong and will remain wrong. However, vengeance belongs to the Lord.


On my journey, the Lord told me that He wanted me to tell my mother every time that I spoke to her that I loved her. I proclaimed “but I don’t” He gently said, “I know, but I want you to do it anyway.” I wrestled for a very long time with His request as I felt that she didn’t even deserve for me to tell them that I loved them, even if it was not true. Eventually, I acquiesced. For six months, everytime I spoke with my mother, I would say “I love you” before hanging up the phone or leaving. The response I received for 6 months was “yep, bye” or words to that effect. Sometimes my mother just hung up on me. I had to keep taking this response to the Lord as I could not allow it to further damage my fragile heart that was trying to be healed from the abuse of my mother. Finally, the day came when I heard those four beautiful words: “I love you too.” On my 39th birthday, my mother gave me a birthday card that to this day is one of my most prized possessions as it is glowing with words of love and adoration. It took 39 years for my mother to tell me that I was loved and that she was proud of me and the person that I had become.

Every healing journey is different. Allow Him to guide you. However, here are some practical steps inspired by Ezekiel 16:4-14 that can aid in your healing process:


1. Reflect on God’s Love: Take time to meditate on the unconditional love of God as depicted in the passage and in His word. Allow yourself to internalize this love and let it guide your self-perception. Here are some scriptures that may speak to you. If you find one that does and meditate on it day and night until you are fully persuaded that He loves you.